Trust me. You don't want a linux distro that works and acts like windoze. Thats asking for viruses, rootkits, spyware, crashing, stolen files, constant bloatware and patching that doesn't work, etc.
Linux is Linux is like BSD, is similar to MAC, but is not and will never be like windows. Its best to learn basic linux, its not hard, its actually fairly easy. Then learn how to use the package manager and never had to pay for another program again
Trust me, as long as you don't start out with Slackware, and use Sabayon or (hate to suggest it) ubuntu you will be GREAT!